


Blank Space

by soul_writerr



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Fluff, Light Pining, M/M, Ogling, Sonny and Rafael praising each other excessively, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25825444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_writerr/pseuds/soul_writerr
Summary: “Ah, so you’re using me,” Rafael joked.“What can I say, I’m an opportunist,” Sonny's smile grew wider.“Is that what your list would say?,” he teased with a tilt of his head.(Everyone gets a list with soulmate's worst qualities)
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 25
Kudos: 106
Collections: Barisi Soulmate Bingo





	Blank Space

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sarahcakes613](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahcakes613/gifts).



> Thank you so much Sarah for the prompt! I had fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> If you know me you know I'd never pass up the opportunity to name a fic after a Taylor Swift song, though this song does not go with the fic oops :P 
> 
> This is for the "Everyone gets a list with soulmate's worst qualities" square of the bingo. have fun!

Rafael looked up from his notepad at Carisi, sitting across from him. He’d ditched his suit jacket but kept his vest on, tie loose around his neck so he could open the first two buttons of his shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

It was the end of the day, the sun had set hours ago, but the office felt warm. Rafael wondered if that was due to Carisi’s presence; he’d learned months ago that Carisi always ran a little hot, and standing beside him was like standing in front of a window where sunshine was coming through.

Rafael had never asked, but he wondered if that was how the Detective had gotten his nickname. 

The soft glow of Rafael’s desk lamp was casting interesting shadows across Carisi’s face. It made his jaw look sharper, his nose pointier, but his eyes absorbed all of the light in the room, bright and sparkling even with the weak glow. 

He’d found himself doing this more and more often lately - watching Carisi. When he thought the other man couldn’t see, Rafael would look at him, studying the angles of his face, the lines of his body, the cut of his suit. Carisi was a very attractive man and Rafael was only human. 

His hair was graying faster now, and Rafael was happy to notice he’d stopped trying to dye the prematurely white strands. Though Carisi might disagree, the gray didn’t age him; on the contrary, it made him look even more handsome, adding a distinguished aura of experience to his young, pretty face.

Rafael lost track of time watching him, a sense of peace overcoming him as the minutes ticked slowly, just the two of them in his office after hours. It was comfortable, and he practically jolted out of his chair at the realization of how fast he’d laid his armor down around the other man. 

He must had made some sort of abrupt movement or maybe he’d gasped out loud, because Carisi looked up at him, throwing the intense force of his blue gaze at Rafael.

“Thinking of calling it a night, Counselor?,” Carisi asked, his watch lighting up as he turned his wrist to look at it. “Jesus. It’s later than I thought.”

“Apologies, Detetive,” Rafael started, setting his gold pen aside. “I didn’t mean to keep you hostage all night. I can finish these, you can leave them.”

Carisi shook his head. “It’s fine, I’m almost done.” 

The Detective went back to the files on his lap, and Rafael kept watching him. This time, however, Carisi wasn’t as focused as he’d been before, because he quickly notice Rafael’s staring and looked up again.

“Something wrong?,” he asked, settling back in his seat to give Rafael his full attention.

“I guess I’m puzzled by your… interest in helping me,” Rafael chuckled. 

Carisi shrugged, smiling softly. “I gotta admit it’s for purely selfish reasons,” he said, waving his own notepad in the air. “This is great material for practice.”

“Ah, so you’re using me,” Rafael joked. 

“What can I say, I’m an opportunist,” his smile grew wider.

“Is that what your list would say?,” Rafael teased with a tilt of his head.

Carisi considered it for a moment. “Nah, I don’t think so. Stubborn, though, for sure. You’ve told me to go home like three times now and here I am.”

“I don’t think you’re stubborn,” he heard himself argue without hesitation. “You’re dedicated.”

“Please, Counselor,” he shook his head. “I’m like a dog with a bone about pretty much everything.”

“Because you’ve got good instincts,” Rafael said, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk. “How many times have you been proven wrong when you put your mind to something?”

Carisi looked down, frowning a little, deep in thought. There was a beat of silence, then Rafael let out a short laugh.

“See?,” Rafael preened. “You catch most of SVU’s breaks.  _ Dedication _ , Detective, not stubbornness.”

“Alright,” he acquiesced. “But only because I’m always too eager to help.”

Rafael rolled his eyes. “That’s not a bad thing, Carisi. That’s like saying your biggest flaw is being a perfectionist, or working too hard.”

“You tell me then, Counselor,” Carisi challenged. “What do you think my list would say?”

The  _ list _ . Rafael sighed, thinking about the letter that he’d folded neatly and kept safe in his bedside drawer. The list he’d gotten five years ago, when the universe deemed him ready to meet his soulmate.

Everyone would eventually get a letter in the mail, containing a list of their soulmate’s worst qualities. It was almost funny to think that their perfect match was first presented to them with a list of the ways they were  _ not _ one’s better half. 

There’s someone out there perfect for you, but oh wait, they’re actually not perfect at all. Talk about irony.

Thousands of songs about how nobody’s perfect had been written, there were hundreds of movies about soulmates overcoming their biggest flaws to be with the love of their lives. The list was the universe’s way of nudging people into better, more tolerant versions of themselves so they could thrive in their relationships with  _ the one _ . 

The lists, however, were definitely not exhaustive. It only took into consideration the faults that would make the soulmates incompatible, that meant they’d have to work harder for each other.

Rafael, for instance, could not stand pushovers. So if his soulmate happened to be one, his list would definitely say so. He didn’t care so much for an argumentative person, for example, or even someone a little cynical, since he could relate to that sentiment and appreciated a realistic look on life.

In that case, if his soulmate happened to be either/or, those traits wouldn’t show on his letter. 

The thing with soulmates was that they were supposed to be the best person for you, the closest match. Many people had things to work through, to get over, and pride had to be put aside in order for soulmates to recognize their faults and build a strong bond together. 

So it was more common for people to have between one and three traits on their lists, be it things they’d need to learn to accept or better understand so they could help their soulmates grow past them. 

Rafael’s case was a little more rare. Not the most rare, mind you. He’d heard Rollins mention her list had six, and  _ that _ was much more rare. That meant both Rollins and her soulmate would have to do some intense soul-searching before they actually worked together.

But Rafael? Rafael’s letter was blank. 

He thought it’d been a mistake at first; that he’d either gotten a faulty letter or that he didn’t actually have a soulmate. But no, he happened to be one of the very few lucky people whose soulmate fit him perfectly, a truly perfect match.

At first, Rafael had been quite proud of himself and his soulmate, excited at the prospect of meeting them and the two of them being so  _ right _ together immediately. 

But a blank list meant he had nothing to work on, nothing to prepare for, nothing to  _ expect _ . A lot of people used those traits as clues to find their soulmates, but Rafael had a blank page and a perfect soulmate for him, lost somewhere out there, and he had no idea where to even start looking.

And then he couldn’t stop thinking about what his soulmate’s letter might say. Rafael knew he was far from flawless, and he couldn’t help but think of how many traits showed on his soulmate’s list, so it was really a matter of how tolerant his soulmate was.

For his own sake, Rafael hoped that  _ very.  _

Rafael looked at Carisi then, trying to imagine what Carisi’s soulmate list might say. A few seconds of intense staring later, Rafael still couldn’t come up with anything. The Detective was loyal to a fault, but Rafael didn’t  _ really _ considered that to be a flaw. And yeah, he was eager to please, but then again, not really a problem.

He was idealistic and optimistic when the situation needed, but had his feet on the ground. He was a little loud, but only when he was passionate about something. 

The more he wracked his brain, the more Rafael found traits that he liked, that weren’t really a problem, things that he admired about the Detective. 

With his heart about to beat out of his chest, Rafael let himself feel a spark of hope.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t think it’d say anything. I think it would be a blank list.”

Carisi straightened up in his seat. “Those are very rare.”

Rafael shrugged one shoulder. “Not  _ that  _ rare.”

A heavy silence followed, Rafael couldn’t even hear himself breathe. There was only the loud thundering of his heart and Carisi’s intense gaze on him. 

“And what would yours say, Counselor?,” he asked, voice deeper than normal. His tongue weighted heavy on his Rs, almost smoothing them completely.

“Obnoxious,” Rafael said immediately. He’d spent a lot of time thinking about this.

Carisi shook his head with a scoff. “No, you’re not.”

“I’m sitting right here in a pink shirt, pink tie and pink suspenders,” Rafael pointed out with a humorless laugh. “You don’t think I’m obnoxious?

“Okay, if you mean obnoxious in the  _ flamboyant _ sense, then yeah, definitely,” he said with a soft smile. “But obnoxious in the actual unpleasant, off-putting way? Absolutely not.”

Rafael’s stomach fluttered, and he sat upright. “Uptight, then.”

Carisi shook his again. “You’re not uptight, you’re just methodical, which we need to be in this line of work.”

“Your colleagues would disagree.”

“My colleagues don’t like it when people tell them how to do their jobs,” Carisi argued, but not unkindly. “But you’re still not wrong.” 

There was another pause, and a prickling started building under Rafael’s skin. 

“If there’s one thing I would say you are, Barba, is proud,” Carisi said, slowly, tentatively. “It was pride that made you give your home address to that guy that was threatening you.”

Rafael smirked. “I don’t know, I think that was quite badass of me.”

Carisi huffed. “And It’s pride that keeps you from admitting it was a stupid idea. It was pride that made you keep the threats a secret from me--,” he swallowed, “from us. It’s your pride that makes it so difficult for you to admit I’m right sometimes, or to accept my help, no matter how willing I am.”

Rafael agreed with that, but he wasn’t going to say it out loud. He let the tension build for a moment, leaning back into his chair, his elbows on the armrests. Carisi watched his every move, and his breathing was coming so fast he was almost panting.

“Is that what your list says, Detective?” Rafael asked, low. “Proud?”

A beat, two beats, then Carisi stood up from his seat and rounded Rafael’s desk with confident steps. Rafael turned his chair slightly towards him, watching him as Carisi approached and bent down, leaning closer with fire in his eyes.

“Are you too proud to kiss me, Counselor?,” he provoked, and waited to see if Rafael would protest the suggestion.

He didn’t, of course he didn’t. Instead, he curled a hand around the back of Carisi’s neck and pulled him the rest of the way in.

Rafael felt a warmth take over his whole body, and a bright light exploded around them. They jumped apart, way too soon, but they had to see it. 

The golden light beamed for a couple seconds, swirling around them. Rafael watched it as it flickered around Carisi’s face, giving his blue eyes a warm tinge. His hair looked blonder too, but a second later it went back to its silver shine as the light dwindled. 

Carisi beamed at him, open and bright, as warm as the light had been.

“I knew it,” he breathed. “There was no other explanation for the way I feel about you.”

Rafael pulled him in again, kissing the smile off his face. There was no explosion of lights to interrupt them now, and so Rafael was free to enjoy the softness of Carisi’s lips on his, the comfortable press of them.

Carisi grabbed his biceps and pulled him up, turning them so Rafael’s was pressed against his desk, not breaking the kiss. It deepened as Rafael’s hands ran down Carisi’s chest, feeling the beat of his heart on his palm.

When they parted, their lips were puffy and raw, flushed and shiny. Carisi was looking at him with an awed expression, and he could relate to that. Rafael himself was amazed at being awarded this wonderful man as his soulmate. 

“What does your list say?,” Carisi asked, breathless.

“Come home with me and I’ll show you,” Rafael breathed back, their lips brushing as he spoke.

Carisi nodded, then kissed him one more time before they grabbed their things to leave. The files and papers were left the way they were, no longer a priority, and Rafael turned the lights off behind him without looking back. 

He had a blank list at home, and now it made sense why.

**Author's Note:**

> Sarah said "Rafael's list is blank" and I was like oh because Sonny is perfect? I agree :D SAALKSLASKSALKAS no neither of them is perfect (that's why we love them, right?) but I enjoyed the idea of tweaking this to be only traits that'd particularly bother their soulmate 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! Let me know MWAH <3


End file.
